Talking is one of the skills among all the skills. In spite of being intellectual most of the people fail to express their ideas due to lack of talking or speaking skills. Therefore author has sighted various tips and tricks for effective talking to carry on an effective communication in the book How to Talk to Anyone.
An example
A presidential debate was held in September 25th between Richard Nixon (37th U.S President) and John F. Kennedy (35th U.S President).
Richard Nixon lost the debate only because people caught him fidgeting and scrubbing the eyebrows while speaking. Fidgeting shows that one is nervous and not true with his words.
This is why one must know the way of presenting oneself while communicating. The book “How to Talk to Anyone” lists and explains the tricks and tips of communication where gesture also plays a vital role.
Different types of techniques that would enhance ones communication skill
Situation can be anything. Be it a job interview, be it a date with a person, be it a business deal, and be it a meeting with someone for the first time.
In every of the above situation one can ace in a conversation. Becoming successful in getting any skill needs persistence and consistency.
All these below techniques will help one put a deep impact on the people one is conversing with.
Speech is the mirror of the soul; as the man speaks so the soul does
Technique 1
The Flooding Smile
Whenever one meets with another, the facial expression shows the amount of interest one has in the entire conversation.
Smile plays an important role in the facial expression. This smile can either show oneself as a good or fake person.
Never smile immediately after seeing a person without any knowledge or start of talk rather listen to the person for at least two minutes and give a genuine and big smile to them.
This way one will have a positive idea about the smiley person. It will make them feel good to forward the conversation. This also results in interest in one another.
Highly effective people often use this technique.
Technique 2
Sticky Eyes
There are a few people who do not do proper eye contact while talking. They keep looking here and there rather than looking straight into the eyes of the person they talk with.
This leaves an impression on the sender (the one who speaks) that the receiver (the one who speaks) is not interested in listening to him/her.
Therefore one must keep eye contact to the sender so that the conversation happens smoothly. One has to keep in mind that even if he/she wants to look around, he has to do it slowly by not breaking the communication flow.
One must also not stare at the sender rather natural eye contact has to be made between the two without any intervention.
Wherever life plants you, bloom with grace
Technique 3
The Latest News (Do not leave home without it)
Before going to a party or a social gathering or any kind of get together, one never forgets to makeup themselves in a decent or a beautiful manner for example, matching hairband with the dress, a good pair of sandals, bracelets, watch etc.
In short, irrespective of gender a person maintains a sophisticated outlook. But for maintaining a good rapport with the surrounding people one must have the latest news in his/her mind.
This increases creditability and intelligence of a person in a gathering. Before going to any kind of event one should read about the latest topics or news going on in the world. For example, new government policies, latest and upcoming events, Environmental issues, stock markets, upcoming movies and international news.
Having knowledge in different topics can keep you involved with people for long if he/she finds a person with the common interests.
It’s a great way for the introverts and shy people to start talking and become sociable. This also has another benefit; the receiver will consider the sender has a knowledgeable person.
Technique 4
Hello! Old friend
There are a few people who have a superb attractive attitude. Whenever the particular person comes in, he/she lights up the room with their personality.
They speak and converse so friendly with everyone like they are ones old friends. The way of speaking makes everyone comfortable and lights up positivity in oneself to talk to these kinds of people.
So for entitling this kind of speaking skills within oneself, one has to consider every single person he/she conversing with as an old friend as there is a comfort zone among the old friends.
This is there because they have been with each other since years. As it is most comfortable in talking to the friends so one must think the person as an old friend to ease the conversation.
This makes the sender as well as the receiver cozy with each other in the conversation. It will also make them feel that one is a confident and positive person who is so good in the first meeting itself.
An affinity is built within them because they care how much one listens and sense them.
Technique 5
Limit Fidget
Fidgeting: It means the movements one makes while talking, the body language one has while speaking or listening, the gesture one has while addressing people for example rubbing of hands, not maintaining a straight posture, looking distracted or not making eye contact. All these actions prove one to be a liar.
But the problem comes when in spite of telling a truth he/she fidgets. So to correct the problem, one has to follow the following:
- Never touch your face while talking to anyone.
- Without too much of movement talk in a straight posture.
- Do not scratch anything (beard, pant, forehead etc.) with the help of your hand. If you want to build trust in someone’s eyes then do not fidget at all in the middle of conversation.
Technique 6
Never the Naked City
Whenever someone asks, “Where are you from”? It is advisable not to give a single liner reply. So the answer should not be like “I am from Bangalore”. It should be like “I am glad you asked this. I am from Bangalore, It has the best weather, it has varieties of delicious food, and I just love Bangalore”.
Basically, one has to reply in details so that the start is interesting. Also for the continuation of the talk, the sender must ask the receiver about the details of his/her city. This way the conversation becomes powerful and proceeding.
Author’s experience
When the author went to a trade association, a lady named Devlin approached to her. The author did not answer her in one line instead she asked Devlin about her city’s famous food, places and culture of the city to make the conversation interesting.
After this the lady thought that author is a good conversationalist and Devlin herself approached her for giving trading lessons.
This way one can be a highly benefited in different ways if he/she is a good conversationalist.
Technique 7
Understand the Expression
When somebody calls over phone while watching TV, one mutes the TV and simultaneously while talking over phone he/she can guess the TV ads.
This is possible by noticing the character’s actions or gestures. Similarly when a person speaks expressions do matter. Therefore it is important for the listener to understand the expressions for a smooth communication.
For the listener to understand the expressions, the teller must speak in the same way for the effective communication to take place.
One must look at the listener and understand if he/she is showing interest in the talk. If he/she shows interest the talk must continue otherwise should change the topic or not talk not more than this. This is how one can know how much and what to speak.
This technique will help one whether the listener is interested in the conversation or not.
Technique 8
Match the MOOD
Whenever it is a meet then one must be able to identify the mood of the other person. Then one has to match his/her mood with the target person.
For example, If your friend has a bad mood and sharing you the reason for his/her misery then take the matter in fun, do not laugh at that situation otherwise the person will be hurt and he/she will never come to share any of his/her problems.
This kind of behavior can bring a crack into the relationship. Therefore it is important to consider the person’s mood you are talking with. This way they will like you for listening plus understanding them.
Speakers who talk about what life has taught them never fail to keep attention to their listeners
Technique 9
Epoxy Eyes
It’s not possible every time that there will only be a one to one conversation. There can be a group sitting and talking, a meeting taking place etc. The person speaking is someone else. In this situation too one need to create a connection with the speaker.
The interest has to be shown by looking at the person in regular intervals of time. This eye contact will show that one is interested in listening to the target person. This technique is quite sensitive plus critical and one needs to understand and implement it very well because looking at them continuously can also give a wrong signal.
So the technique has to be used in balance because it is a powerful way of communication process.
These are the little tricks for big success in relationships. If one follows it then there will be no issues in having a smooth and effective communication all the time.
Technique 10
Be the Chooser not chosen
If you like someone or want to talk with someone just go ahead to talk to him/her. Because most of the people keep on thinking to talk to but can never take the first move towards talking.
Therefore you should always go and start the conversation. This way the connection will grow with the shy person and they will be will able to talk to you at their highest peak of interest.
Sometimes, the people you think do not want to talk to you are the ones waiting for you to talk to them
In Brief
How to talk with anyone?
1. Real Smile : When u meet with a person immediately don’t smile which is within a second. Just wait a moment, start a conversation by wishing him/her and then smile or laugh according to the situation.
2. Pick Latest News : When you are going to any social gathering, carry the current news or information (movies or stock market or international news)
3. Limit fidget : Don’t fidget during conversation.
4. Be the Chooser not chosen : If you like someone or want to talk with someone just go ahead to talk to him/her. Because most of the people keep on thinking to talk to but can never take the first move towards talking.
5. Match the mood : Follow the targeted person’s mood.
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Is this technique only for introverts?
Everyone has a different conversational style. Introverts have the best ideas in their mind but are not at all expressive and for them talking tips are the most important to become sociable. However extroverts can do small talks but that sometimes is a failure because of their over excitement. So both of the personality need to know the techniques mentioned above to acquire the skills of a good speaker and also a listener.
If you’re on the introverted side, however, these situations can make you odd. All you can think about is how much you’d like to escape. Most people are somewhere in the middle on the mixture of the two dimension but everyone has moments of greatness and everyone has moments of utter failure when the pressure is high and big.